Kelly

“CJI listens to real needs and creatively adapts to solve them effectively.” After a CJI Christmas potluck filled with good food, conversation, and lighthearted joking, a man thanked Kelly Rico and wondered out loud why she’d want to work with people like him. Kelly co-facilitates a CJI peer support group for people who have offended sexually. With help from Revive Coordinator Leslie Waye, she started a holiday potluck for CJI Revive clients to build community. As a result of their charges, clients often have tight restrictions on where they are allowed to be and with whom. Some find the holidays emotionally difficult due to the fallout of their charges or isolation from family or friends. So why does Kelly spend time with people who have offended sexually? As someone whose life has been touched by sexual trauma, Kelly wants to help curtail the  suffering at its root. She wants to nudge society to rethink the way we deal with sexual trauma. From what she has seen, the (mostly) men who come to CJI experienced something significant or traumatic in their past that relates to their offending behaviour. “We so easily condemn an individual without realizing that our general denial around trauma upholds the context out of which any offense or crime occurs.” Kelly believes that collectively we need to move beyond our “shock and rage” about sexual abuse to establish effective responses that are healing for the victim, the person who offended, and the affected family or community. For Kelly, working with people who have offended has been transforming. “Revive clients have a space to take responsibility for their thinking and their actions. These are beloved fathers, step-fathers, brothers, uncles, friends, coaches and co-workers who create new, safe, and healthy lives.” She is motivated when people experience authentic healing. The man who thanked her after the potluck had been faithfully coming to the CJI support group; week by week he was changing. “He was repairing his relationship with his wife, he was sturdier,” says Kelly. With assistance from Leslie, Kelly and two other CJI volunteers also started an annual workshop where clients can create or update an individualized relapse prevention plan. Kelly appreciates CJI’s openness to new ideas. “CJI listens to real needs and creatively adapts to solve them effectively.”